Who Really Controls You ?

 

Make Your Actions Your Own

                             By: Bobbie Jones

            I do my best to never let it be said that I allowed someone else to force me into doing something I didn’t want to do.  Believe me those young and easily influential days are long gone.  Unfortunately I wish I could say the same for some of the adults I run into.

            I have never been more amazed than I am when I see people responding to a situation when they are under so-called “pressure.”  Oh I am not talking about life and death situations.  I am talking about simple, minor, un-altering life situations.  To understand what I am talking about just visit any factory or warehouse that claims business is down and just watch how they treat their employees.  Yelling, belittling and outright putdowns of the workforce have become common place.  Now, some of these individuals may be on power trips but most are just reacting.

            Regardless of whatever is going on around us we should never change who we are because someone is having an angry moment or has decided to have a “fit” in front of us.  I know many of you are thinking the above statement may be easier said than done and some of you might even be thinking I wish someone would have reminded me of this before I had my brother-in-law over for dinner last night.  No, need to despair because it’s never too late to learn and implement a good life lesson.

            Just think of a situation you’ve been in, maybe a past relationship with your mother-in-law comes to mind.  Let’s say your mother-in-law comes for a visit and she complains so much about the interior design of your house that you start yelling at your dumb-founded and unsuspecting husband to get busy updating and remodeling your home. 

            Now, as your poor husband sits and ponders why he has been verbally attacked, you silently wish you were brave enough to tell your mother-in-law to “Get back to your own house if you don’t like the looks of mine.”  I wonder if the sight of your front door from the outside would give her a thrill.  Do I hear the sound of front doors slamming all across America?

            I believe this is called the “Kick the Dog Syndrome.”  It goes like this, the CEO yells at the plant manager, the plant manager feels helpless so he yells at his floor manager, then the floor manager yells at his line worker and the line worker in his powerlessness goes home and kicks the dog – sad but how true it is.

            As sad as it may sound I have seen good people get fired from jobs, restaurant servers get humiliated in public and young children get punished wrongfully all because someone’s disapproving opinion of us was unleashed and we didn’t have enough faith in our own selves not to be intimidated by that disapproval. 

            It really is a question of are we in control of our own lives or not?  I know some of you may be thinking – If my boss tells me to fire someone, I have to do it even if I know it’s the wrong thing to do.  And I say to you “No,” you don’t.  As a human being you can become informed and exercise your options in any situation.  So, make your actions your own.  I know taking a stand for what is right can be a rare and difficult thing in this day and age but believe me you will have more respect for yourself once you do it.

            In life once you let it be known by your character and demeanor that you will not be bullied or intimidate or force to run scared, trust me not only will you gain a great respect for yourself but others will too.   They may not like you but respect is what you are after and what you deserve.

– The above piece was received by Ann Arbor.com on (May 9th 2010). 

– Printed and Published on Bobbie’s Blog on (May 22, 2010) All rights reserved.